Falllen Angel: Hurt

Lyria watched as he paced away from her with those well-balanced, firm steps she strived to match. She could only watch his back, upright, tense and stiff, as he moved fluently, as his body swayed lightly, as if dancing to a music she knew not of. The short locks of his hair caressed the back of his neck, soft like feathers, released from the tight ponytail he used to wear them in. The line of his neck stretched, tighter than ever, down to his shoulderblades.

He was angry.

The woman sighed as she forced her legs, trying to catch up with his pacing, which now resembled more to a slow race against a fast current: stubborn and strong. Still, he remained far away from her, and she urged herself to stay at arm’s reach.

“Will you please calm yourself?” she asked, cursing the panting that appeared in her voice.

“Will you please stop acting like an ignorant child?” His voice, harsh, fell on her like the tolling of a bell. It echoed in her ears and his accusation made her frown.

“Stop!” she commanded, and he did. To her surprise, he rooted his feet to the ground and she was now able to reach and touch him, but –for once- she kept her hands to herself. Instead of hugging him, as she would of done in the past, she walked around his motionless form and looked him in the eye. “What’s your problem?” she asked and watched the expression on his face change. The soft brown of his eyes -oftentimes resembling melted cocoa- darkened, the velvety corners of his lips turned downwards.

“What have I done to you to deserve such a treatment?” he asked, and Lyria felt it in her heart that, once again, she had hurt him. Still, she piercingly fixed her eyes, as if trying to gaze into his soul –if he had any- and bit on the inner side of her cheek.

“What did I do this time?” she asked back, and now his expression revealed not only his anger, but also his disappointment. And that was way worse.

“Don’t you understand, you imbecile?” Inhaling deeply, he threw his head back a little and held his breath. His arms, both of his arms, laid flat and firm on her shoulders; no hint of tenderness was to be found in that move. He meant to hold her down, and the meaning behind his action was symbolic: she should keep her feet on the ground. “Your head is still in the clouds.”

She felt the anger in her heart battling with her sadness as she pressed a finger on that chest that stood proudly a few inches away from her nose; she pressed back that unmoving rock, until her finger ached and she had to stop pressing. His body was as unmoving as his beliefs. “I will not just back down for you to boast. If you think that, then it’s not me who has their head in the clouds.”

Oh, his eyes… Those depthless lakes of wisdom and care. The ageless gleam of love was back for a moment, and there stood he whom she had always loved and trusted. The one she gave up so much for; the man she gave up her wings for.

“You need to understand, humans are not to be trusted. Humans are not as pure as you deem them to be, neither so unconditional!” A hand cupped her cheek, still not very gently, but more protectively this time. It turned her face towards him. “Please, believe me. I mean no harm; I only want you to be safe…” His voice begged and his eyes pleaded more than his words could ever do, but still she denied to see. Like a child would do, she turned her gaze away,

“I trusted you, and I knew but a few solid things about you. How is anyone else different? Why do you deserve my trust but not anyone else?”

“Because I love you.”

Once again she looked at him and knew what he spoke was true. There were no secrets behind his clear gaze, no hesitation in his words. He was, indeed, special to her, and deserved her trust, and her love, and so much more that she could ever express without sounding like a helpless romantic; which she would never do, save than one time she did, and he laughed.

“And I love you…” she answered, and rested her forehead on that previously prominent and hard, now softer and welcoming chest of his.

“But?”

“But I could love other people too.” She heard his breath hitch and her skin shivered. She waited for the storm, standing still, praying that the punishment wouldn’t be very hard.

But his arms circled around her, following the lines of her body and pulled her closer into the cage of his heated flesh –could it be any closer than this?- and-

“You never learn, do you? You only love too fast, too much…”

And that is why she would always get hurt. For loving people who would always want something else of her. Not her love, not her trust, not her friendship. Just a few nights and some ephemeral pleasures. But her heart, always so open to people eager to mistreat her, would break every time; for those who approached her, feasted on her good will and tenderness, on her love for all things mortal and of her acceptance. And in exchange, they gave her back their negativity, and abused her feelings, always leaving her broken inside.

Some pieces are harder to collect… And who can go on with a jigsaw puzzle of a heart for long? 

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